July 5th

It's July 5th, and I don't feel that patriotic. I didn't plant a garden, didn't decorate, didn't buy fireworks, and didn't cordinate my outfit to be red, white and blue. I did make homemade potato salad, and we had hamburgers for dinner. I didn't make a festive dessert, no cool place settings or centerpiece. I think I figured out why I am not patriotic today. I got paid today, so at lunch I think I'll shoot over to JoAnns and see what they have on sale. I am hoping they have some cool July decor. Life has been so busy, and stressful lately. My hubby just found out that he has to call another counselor. That means he will be in another 6 months at least. We were beginning to feel, or maybe I was feeling the light at the end of the tunnel. NOT NOW!! I know in October he is going to police academy for detention, that's 6 weeks he'll be gone. I am just not looking forward to anything lately. All  I want is a big tub of Fat Cats popcorn and a coke. Maybe JoAnns will cheer me up? Happy July, may you be more patriotic than I!

Memorial Day

It's that time of year when we commemorate the sacrifice of our service men, and service women. Unfortunately, I have to work today. I have a bit of time in between patients, did I ever mention I am a great multi tasker? Well, I am. I can do a bunch of stuff at one time. I will answer the phone, work on the computer and smile at onlookers in the waiting room! I am at work, my family is at home and we did nothing special this weekend. I did stay home from church to do some laundry, spray around the house for bugs and watch a documentary on Irish dancing. See, multi tasker all the way! My kids came home and wondered where all the coke went.....not in me for sure, he, he ,he. I look out the window and see the breeze, okay, I'm in Idaho, wind. The sun is shining right now. It looks like it would be a beautiful day. I am stuck inside, working. I have 1 1/2 hours to go, then homebound I go. I  do like seeing all the flags out in everyones yards. I am patriotic that way.

SPECIAL

I have a special kid. Well, I have 4 special kids...but one is extra special. His name is Bryan and he can light up any room. He is always "smiley". He has an incredible imagination. He loves to watch netflix. He has the best growl when he plays with his toys. He has big front teeth that show when he smiles (I'm grinning just thinking about him). He gets excited when he gets home to come give me a hug. At Journeys, a facility for special needs kids, the workers beg to "work" with him. I think they play more than work (that is the intent). I haven't met anyone yet who has a problem with Bryan. He is always in a good mood. I have seen him cry a few times, when he can't watch netflix. Bryan has a special way of making you feel special. He loves to snuggle. He comes in and sleeps in my bed in the morning. He comes in around 5 am. He wedges himself between me and the hubby. He says "Mom, can I snuggle witch you?" it is so cute. He climbs in then moves the top half of his body to snuggle with dad and tucks his feet under my leg! You can't ever say Bryan is not loved. He loves to snuggle with his siblings too. If he goes to bed when we are on date night he is sure to be found with a sibling snuggled up.

The problem with Bryan is he wants to drink water from my cup. He knows how to get a cup and drink, but why when mom always has water near her? I think in a creepy way it still a nursing thing, when he was little he nursed, never took a bottle. Well now he never gets a drink by himself, he steals mine. EVEN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!! Another problem with Bryan is he gives wet kisses. He puckers those cute little lips and loves to kiss......but it's wet. I always have to wipe the risiduale spit on my cheek off. The other thing that is a problem is he leaves a trail where ever he is. There is always sure to be toys left around, and you know it's him. The next thing that is wrong, well, don't ever tell him this but when he is being extra cute and nice he will say "Hello my darling" or "Welcome your majesty" or "Excuse me ladies" but when he does this he bends like a little servant bending to his master. It's the cutest thing ever! Ok, another annoyance with the little guy is he loves cookies. He draws them, begs for them, cooks them, always wants me to make them, he shares them, and will even eat the crispy ones left in the jar. I can't believe this kid. When his worker Kristen was pregnant he would draw her pictures of her pregnant being showered with, yup you guessed it, cookies!! IF he ever finds out there is cookies around, kiss them goodbye. This is what a little QT he is.....if he knows there is a cookie and it's dinner time he will eat a partial dinner, then ask for the dang cookie!

Ok, I'll stop baggin on Bryan. This was all done with love and tenderness because it I had put this in a positive tone I would cry (like I am beginning to do right now). I love this little man. He is the biggest joy to us. He truly is the best kid ever. He spreads sunshine around where ever he goes. He love everyone. He has no hate in his being what-so-ever. So when you see a "special needs" kid, know that they really are special. They do things us "normal" people can't. I have a new found appreciation for individuals with special needs. The longer time goes on, the more special Bryan becomes.

Breath

Right now, I need to breathe. I feel a little overwhelmed. I am ready about a friends daughter who is battling leukemia, and I cannot believe in the lack of faith I have. Everytime I read the blog, I just think to myself "you need to get on the ball", "look at their faith, you don't have what it takes". I know these are just things satan puts into my mind. I push them out, think positive, and then breathe. I seem to be a little reflective lately. I seem to be overwhelmed with the politics of our country, the downward spiral I feel like it's going...then I must breathe. I get snapped at, at work and want to just scream because people can't multitask! How hard is it? Seriously, then I remember it is a talent that I have. Most people can't do 10 different things at once. I mean, what don't you get when I say I need to take lunches at noon, but you make me late everyday? UGH, then....I breathe. I know I have to go home in 2 hours. I will have to face what is for dinner, who needs help with homework, who needs clean clothes for tomorrow, who's turn is it to shower, is the dog fed, are the horses watered, is my scouting stuff up to date, has my husband made it home, CRAP..what's for dinner, is Bryan back from therapy, is the living room clean for guests, did I request a certain day off, did I pay a bill, Cali needs to go to dance, Cali needs to be picked up, is there a way to get Fat Cats popcorn from Rexburg when I live in Rigby.......then I just take 5 minutes to breathe. I have in the back of my head that we need family pictures, haven't had one since Bryan was 5 months old. Who do I pick for a photographer? Will I look super overweight, will the kids all cordinate? (I haven't even scheduled the photoshoot!!) BEATHE FOR HEAVENS SAKE I really just want to skp home, go to fat cats, get a big extra butter popcorn and be alone. I can leave Cali for John to deal with. I can let the other kids do a "fend for yourself" night for dinner. That is what my kids call it when I don't cook. "mom, what's for dinner or is it "fend for yourself" night?" Yup, I'm the best mom out there.....breathe.

More the merrier?

Awhile ago I posted about my grey hairs (there was only 2). Now, some months later.....there are a ton more. Either I'm getting older (ya know,I'm timeless), I am stressed out (what working mother isn't?), or I was blind and now I can see (I did have lasik in June). I think it's a combination of both. I either need a haircut so I can't see such grey hairs, or need to dye my hair. I like the color of my hair though. I like being natural and beautiful. I like not having to spend the money for hair dye. CRAP!! Decisions, decisions. Not to mention, I'm 38 this year. I am getting dang close to 40, OH and it's my 20 yr reunion. I need to loose weight, and dye my hair before July. UGGHHH.

A gun for me......not the hubby!

I have been wanting a handgun. YUP, a handgun. Before all this "gun reform" crap, people getting shot all over the country, politicians wanting to control our 2nd ammendment right, and posers jumping on a band wagon that they don't know how to use, I was "in the market" for a gun. Since John is a police officer it's been a little creepy going places with him. We were in Broulim's (our local grocery store) and the butcher came up all friendly like. I thought it was weird that he was being so helpful in our making a decision on what to get for the 5 for $20 sale. Well, it ended up he had been a prisoner and recognized John! He was a good dude, no creepy feelings being vibed, but it was a reminder to me that there are some criminals that hate police officers. Now the butcher was a great guy, we ended up talking for a bit,but trust me, they aren't all that friendly. We bumped into another prisoner a few months before the "butcher", he was CREEPY. My skin was crawling all over the place, and I listen to that internal creepy-meter. Now we have all the school shootings, kids killing families, sons killing school kids....just a sickning world right now. I know, it's only getting worse. On Thursday January 24th I decided a handgun was in my future. If my mom found out she would kill me. She was a juror for the "onion fields" murder trial. She saw some pretty gross stuff and instilled the fear of handguns in me. I told John that I was going by myself. John was so excited, he just had to go with me. I went to the Gun Shop, CAL ranch, and then Sportsman Wearhouse. This is what I found

A piece of heaven. I tried quite a few guns and this one.....I am dreaming about. I am a lefty shooter and most guns are for right handed shooters. Not this little beauty! It fit like a glove, was light, I could pull the slide, a laser pointer will fit on it, it holds like 15 rounds (I'm not positive on that), the grip is adjustable to fit my hand, a few cool safety features,and most of all it is SICK looking :) Who knew you could covet and dream about a piece of steel (could be another metal, but you get my drift). I did some research before I went out looking for something. The sales people were so freaking awesome everywhere I went. I was very intimidated at first because I don't know all the terms. The sales person knew what I was talking aobut and helped so much. As a matter of fact, John was making fun of me because the magazine release (which I called the button thingy), I didn't know the term. He corrected me in front of the sales guy, Dylon. I then told John he was uninvited to my gun search. I felt like a total idiot and slipped back into the intimidated, stupid woman role. Dylon was so great, he just kept asking me if there was anything else, and then showed me more benefits. John left my side and then there was peace again. My advice for any woman who is going to look for a gun for yourself....DON'T TAKE THE HUBBY! Seriously, he got in the way. He made me more nervous. He just complicated me. After a while he came back to the counter. I showed him what I wanted, and then he started "talking gun". I was ok with that because I found my second love and I just stood there caressing the hard steel in my hand. I'm not gonna lie, I got a thrill. I finally pulled John away and we left. I now know what I want. It's black, hard, light, for lefties, and after I save $1000.00 it will be mine. I wish there was a way that I could win it, or have it given to me. I'm willing to go to the store and admire him for awhile. I might make a visit on Wednesday!!

It's the new year and it doesn't feel any different! I was so excited for 2013. I thought it would be different, but it's not. I guess that is my job to make it different. For New Years Eve I was so fortunate to be in SLC, UT with my family. My mom, who is so awesome bought tickets for us to spend the night at Hale Center Theater Orem. My brother Blake was awesome! Here he is:

Doesn't he look like Rick Moranis? He was so awesome! I didn't even know he could sing. I guess that is what voice lessons can do. I was so tired the next morning because I don't usually stay up that late. Is that a sign I'm getting old? John didn't come down with us. He stayed home for tithing settlement and the last day of the elk hunt. I wanted to come home to this:

But I came home to nothing. I was so heart sick for John. He wanted so bad to provide meat for the family for the next year. I was looking forward to those elk tenderloins....they are sooo yummy. I just learned that our 20 year high school reunion is this summer!! I am so excited to see everyone and how they have evolved at men and women. 20 years can change people. I know I have changed. I am not blonde, I don't fit into my size 8 jeans, I have short hair, I am more tolerant of others, I don't care so much what others think of me, I am taller, my feet are bigger, I have more stress, I take medication for high blood pressure, I read more, I laugh more, I cry less, I have to work, and most of all I live everyday like it's the last. Times do change